Day by Day

Tomorrow Baby Sister will be 6 months old. It has been 1 month and 9 days since referral and stillno word of a court date. Knowing that my file first had to go through a rubber stamp roller coaster BEFORE I'd hear, thanks to the update tat still had to be filed, I was relatively okay with this until yesterday-

There's a new rumour. At least I pray God it IS a rumour. It has to do with staffing and courts and the number of cases heard per day to be cut by about 90%.  The mere idea of what this could do to timleines is not only scary, it literally makes me physically ill, and I won't hear it, buy into it, give it negative energy beyond this sentence.  No. No. No.

I know some of you don't have or practise a religion, or even have a belief in God, but I do, and this is my blog, MY LIFE, and I have started a Novena with the prayer goal/request/petition being that I WILL HAVE OUR NEW BABY IN MY ARMS, AND MINE BY THE END OF APRIL, 2011.  I have had miracles through the power of prayer, and I want another one. Period.

In the meantime, Malia is fine- she has discovered the current pop icon, and preatty much local boy (his home town is less than 2 hrs away) , Justin Bieber, and through him, Jaden Smith, and is smitten with both.  She sat through the "fan cut" of the Never Say Never (her pic of a movie last weekend) and has basically memorized 4 of the songs, already. I am not sure where she was exposed to JB, but she could have worse role models, so I am not concerned in the least.

She asks for Baby Sis EVERday, and I wish I could tell her more. She looks forward with X crossings on the calendar that mark "sleeps" to Disney and to meeting Makena and me, and so do I.  She's also busy with school, dance, gymnsatics and violin- though the 40 minute drive to the latter is bugging ME.

Actually, basically everything BUT Malia is bothering me. At school, I feel such anxiety right before each class b/c. let's face it, though the kids are great it is NOT where I want to be. But, when the class bells chime, I go in, teacher mode fully on, and "survive" each 76 minutes. Luckily, the kids haven't caught on that I am there, but not there, you know?  Honestly, I just try not to think too much, or my head will explode.  Right now, it's day by day and I pray my phone rings with blessed news.