Christmas Eve Eve- Bah! Humbug!

Well, that's how I feel at the moment, anyway.

1)  I had been soooo hopeful for a Chrostmas referral-  I had a "sisters" frame all ready to be filled and coordinating outfits that included "little sister" and "big sister" t-shirts for under the tree.  I had a special ornament for my parents...  BUT, 5pm came and went with no call-  today was the last day my agency would be open before it closed until after New Year's, so I know it won't come in 2010, anyway.  My ticker at the side of this blog is starting to mock me.

Now, I just wish I knew what to tell Malia when Santa has her violin under the tree, but not baby sister.  She soooo wants her.  This morning, she came to me and whispered that she had a secret to tell me, then said, "Mama, I have been praying for Shayla".  Me, too, babe, me too.

The update from the agency reveals that there'll be slow downs after the new referrals, too.  Whereas before the death of a birth parent only needed a "witness" to prove it, now an official death certificate is required for court.  I know the Ethiopian government is just trying to prevent fraud etc, but for many babies, this may mean they will not be adopted b/c, like any document  in a thrid world country, these will not be easy to obtain, and possibly not at all.

My old AP (who is long gone, thank Goodness) told me from the onset that second adoptions are just fraught with issues, but having had anything but a smooth ride, the first time, I was sure I'd dodged that sentence. Nope.  ANY of the "first families" that adopted with my agency the first time out, and are now either home with adoptive son.daughter number 2, or still in process, can attest to the hell this round has been. And, sadly, a good friend I shared much of the in country experience with the first time out, just received the devastating call I got nearly 4 years ago, myself...  Poor little lost baby, and poor Mama whose heart is so broken.

2) My computer was acting wonky, and wouldn't even full load, so I ran a "system recovery".  I rejoiced when I was then able to get online, but tonight came close to losing it when I went to open a file in "My Documents" and found EVERYTHING GONE!!  Folks on FB have encouraged me that it could still be there, somewhere, and that Staples/Geek Squad etc may help, so tomorrow, I call and hope for the best.  All of Malia's early pics and documents, all of Kaia's stuff, soooo much of my personal files and school stuff was on there, not to mention about a zillion pics from Haiti etc...  sigh. 

Basically, should not be allowed around technology.

3) The frog that has been living in my throat the last 2 days, has now moved in his entire family and some friends.  I can barely talk, I'm coughing, my throat hurts big time and can you guess who does all the harmonies and  is also supposed to solo for Christmas Day Mass???  Yeah, that would be me.  I am popping the zinc and Vitamin C (and some Bird Dog Red, though I am not sure of its benefits for this particular problem ;)  We'll see what happens.  (and now, I can hear Malia, asleep, but coughing a lot, too-  grrr)

4) I have not rested. At. All. I have been "off" since 2:35pm last friday, and it's been go, go, go. A lot of that has been appointments for me, or Malia. The physical therapy she'd been attending, locally, wasn't producing results, so she's been going to a different clinic 45 minutes away 2x per week.  She is slowing getting better, thank Goodness, but it's tough to HAVE to be somewhere, instead of just trying to let body, mind, and more importantly spirit and soul, recover.  Most of us at school- kids and teachers- were ready to pop just before the break... I NEED REAL DOWN TIME.

5) and I am missing family

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And, that's my pissy, poor me, having a crappy day post.  Gee, aren't we all just thrilled I finally blogged??  Sheesh.