Every few months Malia will ask questions regarding her adoption. There is never anything unusual that precedes her queries, and it always catches me a little off guard, especially how deeply she feels at such a young age.
Today's conversation began right after I picked her up from school, and we were waiting in the drive thru line of Tim Horton's to get her, her pre-dance class croissant:
Malia: Mama, is there food in Ethiopia?
Mama: Do you mean food like we eat here, or just any kind of food?
Malia: Just food, Mama. Like to make our bodies grow and be strong.
Mama: Well, yes, Malia, there's food. Otherwise, how would we eat when we're there?
Malia is silent for a moment then:
Malia: Mama, if there is food why couldn't Bethlehem feed me? Why couldn't she love me and give me food to eat?
Mama: (taking a deep breath, believe me) Honey, there is food, and she did give it to you, from her breast, but Bethlehem was very poor and to buy food, people have to have money (and I continued on to explain to her what I know of her birth mother, her Enat, and the circumstances that led her to place Malia).
Malia: So, she brought me to the orphanage? To the lady so I could have food?
Mama: Yes.
Malia: And she told her to find me a mama that could take care of me forever?
Mama: Yes. She loved you very much. I love you very much.
Malia: I love you too, Mama, so, so much.
(another pause from Malia)
Malia: Mama?
Mama: Yes?
Malia: And I didn't die right? I didn't die b/c Bethlehem wanted me to have food?
Mama: Die? Malia, where did you get that idea? Has someone been talking about Ethiopia at school?
Malia: No, Mama, I just thinked it by myself b/c your first baby died, right?
Mama: Yes, honey, she did. But, not b/c she didn't have food. She got a high fever, a viral infection.
Malia: A big boo boo inside?
Mama: Yes?
Malia: Was it on her heart like Michael Jackson?
Mama: I suppose it did affect her little heart, too, yes?
Malia: Mama, we need to go get Shaela now, okay? Please call the man in Ethiopia.
Mama: I want to Mal, believe me, but it doesn't work that way. But don't worry, she has food and she has clothes.
Malia: And they love her?
Mama: I so hope so, yes.
Malia: But not like we love her, right mama?
Mama: Right baby. (at that point I passed her croissant back so she could start eating it)
Malia: Thank you, Mama. Thank you for this good food.
***Ouch, my heart....
4 comments:
Lordy....crying......she is so BRIGHT, insightful, sensitive...reminds me of Hui HUi. It's those times, through drive thru...when it's just you and her...confined (you cannot get away)that she will go deepest. Because she LOVES YOU. She trusts YOU!!! ANd that is a BIG thing believe me. It catches you for sure, and often takes your breath away...but rather she turn to you...than NOT.
Oh blessings dear Malia. Yes go get Shaela already. Prayers directed your way!!
Oh wow...out of the mouths of babes. My youngest has little epiphanies like that, too. Children can see things so clearly. I wish you could tape that conversation and send it to CIC to show them how they need to process the immigration files faster! I can't believe so much of our wait is Canadian caused, near the end of the journey!
I wish I could give Malia a big hug right now!!!
Claire
Oh gosh, that must have been tough. But credit to you for handling the questions well. I asked my mum some "ouch on the heart" questions surrounding my adoption while I was 2yrs. Malia sounds like such a bright, sentive, thoughtful and joyful child. I've been wondering, how do you pronouce Malia's name - is it like Barack and Michelle Obama's daughter "Ma-lee-a" or like "Somalia" without the "So"? Just wondering so when I'm reading the posts and thinking about it I'm pronouncing your daughter's name correctly. All best wishes to you both and hoping you won't be waiting much longer for your new addition to the family.
- Kate
Thanks for the prayers, ladies. So much.
And, Kate, you pronounce Malia, like Maria, but with an "L" so, yes, like Malia Obama :)
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