"Little" Food for Thought

It's funny how watching things, like TV shows, or movies, with Malia, I see them so differently than before she came to be part of the experience, and even before I even committed to creating our family through adoption.
Before I had watched things with adoption "themes" and really didn't form an opinion one way, or another-  they were either just entertaining, or not entertaining, but the deeper stuff didn't take on relevance for me, unless the piece particularly moved me.

It was like that with STUART.LITTLE.   I had seen it years ago, some lazy Saturday winter afternoon when nothing else was asking to be done, I suppose, and it had not affected me in the least. It was a cute, somewhat silly, but definitely passable, modern adaptation of what I knew to be a kids' classic by EB White.  The biggest kick I got out of it was the cats' expressions and personalities.

But, tonight... tonight I watched it with Malia. I wish that when I suggested it after flipping through the TV Guide channel (she had been begging to watch something on TV and I was NOT in the mood for Treehouse, or one of the many things in our own DVD collection A.G.A.I.N. ) I had remembered the scenes that were actually IN this movie.  Well, Malia is sometimes 3 going on 13, maybe even 23, and I spent the next 2 hours (ugh commercials!!) very unsure of how "appropriate" my viewing selection had been as I fielded questions about the "orphanage" where Stuart had been, that they got to "pick" a child, why his new brother didn't like him, why Stuart felt "different" and hardest of all-  why The Littles let him go with his birth parents, instead of keeping him with them.  Malia was whimpering that he was "so sad, mama, b/c he doesn't want to go".

When we go back to Ethiopia for Little Sista, one of my plans has always been to find Malia's birthmother. I just want our daughter to have more than a grainy ID photocopied pic- basically a stern looking, floating face on a stark white background.  And, I want to thank the girl (now,woman) who blessed us in so many ways.  Now, I am not so sure if my little girl will understand this meeting, if I am successful. I know that I will have to prepare her very well for it (and of course know if it is all right with her Enat, too!) but based on her reactions to Stuart's situation, tonight, I am wondering what she will ultimately think-  that she is possibly going to stay there?  That I don't want her?  It gives me a lot to consider that I didn't even think about before this simple little film caused my Malikin to MAKE Mama think.

Now, in case you're wondering, the happy ending made it all just fine. She fell instantly asleep about 5 minutes after her bed time routine was over.  It's Mama that is still not resting quiet...