The times I have watched Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, all the way through, can be counted on one hand. Why? Because I get angry. I love that they're helping people, but taking them from run-down, cramped homes to techno-palaces Robin Leach may have featured in the '80's, that are going to be crazy hard to pay taxes on, keep in utilities, keep maintained etc etc is just irresponsible, I think. (at least I am guessing all that stuff is up to them- anyone know different?) Yes, upgrade. Yes, make homes spacious and safe, but do it in a way that fits with the neighbourhood, and keeps the family "normal" to friends and family etc, you know? I would love to know what happened to families after a couple of years had passed. What happened to the values that had made them such good people to start with. I can only hope they stayed intact.
Anyway, tonight I watched on purpose. I had seen a commercial earlier in the week- heard the word "adoption", saw the boys' tiny ears and high cheek bones and just knew they'd come from Haiti, so I had to watch.
I cried a lot during the show hearing the boys talk about how even the decaying (literally) home where they currently lived with the home-made bunk beds was better than anything they could've ever dreamed in Haiti etc, but that was "balanced" (lack of a better word) with wanting to slap the Extreme team for their sappy "hero" quotes etc.
So, while the team is building another "extreme" home for this family of 13- a very ill mom, a firefighter dad, 8 adopted boys (3from Toledo inner city, 5 from Haiti) and 3 bio boys, the family is on vacation and one of the team has actually gone with them b/c while in Florida, they also get to see a whole plane loaded with toys, dry goods etc that is being flown to Haiti on the family's behalf by EM.
And, it was that scene, in particular, that inspired the title of this post. You see, when they showed all the new toys, linens and stuff and the family, most especially the boys, originally from Haiti, were crying tears of joy, I literally gasped. You see, EVERY item was in its brand new, cardboard and plastic package with the wire and plastic "security" tabs (anyone who has opened anything for kids in the last 2 years knows exactly what I am talking about). The linens were also all in their original thick plastic bags.
I gasped b/c Haiti is a veritable junk yard. Once upon a time people ate something like mango, like chicken, eggs, fish, whatever and threw the bones, pits, peels, wherever and soon enough, they decomposed, were gone. Then, one day, from other more "advanced" areas of the Western Hemisphere things like little itty bitty bags of drinking water, single serving bottles of "juna", disposable diapers etc showed up. But, when people tried what was tested and true for getting rid of the unusable remains it did NOT decompose. In fact, let me offer the bus "station" (term used oh so loosely) in Cap Haitian as an example. Anywhere you walk, you find your steps strangely buoyed- look down and know why. Every square inch of ground is covered with YEARS of empty drink/food/product containers, smashed totally flat, and blackened by the millions of feet and tires that have passed over it. The waterfront, once one of the most beautiful ports in the world, is clogged with much the same. I could go on, and on, like about how I got into the stream in Labadee village and pulled out cans and styro-foam and plastic bottles that had "dammed" the flow and was told by locals not too worry that it would wash out to sea, eventually. They cannot conceive that there it will NOT decay, EVER, and one of the reasons fishing (the main source of sustenance in many coastal villages) is now so poor. I could also mention that Cite Soleil the poorest slum in Haiti (and when 75- 80% of the GENERAL population lives in abject poverty, that's saying something) is partially built on a dump- a dump made, in part, by the barged in garbage that Canada and the US once paid Haiti to take!!!!!
I recall very clearly driving through Soleil one night, in the late 90's, and seeing little bursts of fire here and there: methane fires from the compressed garbage. Many of the shanties of Soleil (many made from dump refuse, themselves- imagine FedEx paper walls.. it's true) have burned down and been "rebuilt" over the years. The people that died in these fires were not so easily resurrected. The canals that criss-cross Port-au-Prince and channel through Soleil are basically sewage ditches, heavily clogged with all that I have previously mentioned, plus human waste (they do their business in little bags and toss it there since real toilets are as rare, here, as owning our own jet planes is to us). Water doesn't "flow" except when the rains come and then they swell big with disease and flood the "homes" with a muck so rank, that even when the wetness recedes, the stench doesn't . Do you know that it is possible to sleep standing up? It is- Haitians in Soleil are good at it. Birth defects are higher in this one part of Haiti, per capita, than in most of the world put together.
So, I gasped at Extreme Makeover b/c though the hearts were in the right place, they did not do their research... they have just added to the problem. (side note: when we travel to Haiti with donations, we bring in NO unnecessary packaging AND any we do create, we repack to bring home. You should see the look on customs' officers' faces when they choose me to have my suitcases inspected! lol) Furthermore, a lot of what I saw in the truck took batteries... So let's see- buy new batteries or eat one meal a day for 3 days....? Sigh.
So, what did EM get RIGHT?
They housed the boys in groups of 3 to a bedroom. Yes, a big YES. Haiti is very social, very close knit, not only of necessity, but of choice. I can spot Haitian kids and families ANYWHERE just by the "personal" distance they either maintain or deny. :) Keeping the kids physically together- bravo.
NOT taking the family to Haiti to drop off the stuff. I had truly feared that, that's what they were about to do. And, if they had prepared them, in advance, then okay, but as a surprise? This would have been traumatic for the Haitian boys, to say the least. I don't mean going to their homeland. I mean, whisking in, playing Santa to children just like they were and then having to leave as quickly, coming home to the EM waaaaay crazily appointed "home" (gees, did you SEE that freaking games room????). After 12 years of working in Haiti, living amongst the people, celebrating and grieving with them... well, I know those boys would have been changed if they'd been made to go, unprepared. And, not for the better.
Showing an adoptive family in such a positive light. Like they stated at the end, maybe more people will consider this amazing way to build/add to their families.
And, what did they get WRONG (besides all I have already pointed out)?
Anyway, tonight I watched on purpose. I had seen a commercial earlier in the week- heard the word "adoption", saw the boys' tiny ears and high cheek bones and just knew they'd come from Haiti, so I had to watch.
I cried a lot during the show hearing the boys talk about how even the decaying (literally) home where they currently lived with the home-made bunk beds was better than anything they could've ever dreamed in Haiti etc, but that was "balanced" (lack of a better word) with wanting to slap the Extreme team for their sappy "hero" quotes etc.
So, while the team is building another "extreme" home for this family of 13- a very ill mom, a firefighter dad, 8 adopted boys (3from Toledo inner city, 5 from Haiti) and 3 bio boys, the family is on vacation and one of the team has actually gone with them b/c while in Florida, they also get to see a whole plane loaded with toys, dry goods etc that is being flown to Haiti on the family's behalf by EM.
And, it was that scene, in particular, that inspired the title of this post. You see, when they showed all the new toys, linens and stuff and the family, most especially the boys, originally from Haiti, were crying tears of joy, I literally gasped. You see, EVERY item was in its brand new, cardboard and plastic package with the wire and plastic "security" tabs (anyone who has opened anything for kids in the last 2 years knows exactly what I am talking about). The linens were also all in their original thick plastic bags.
I gasped b/c Haiti is a veritable junk yard. Once upon a time people ate something like mango, like chicken, eggs, fish, whatever and threw the bones, pits, peels, wherever and soon enough, they decomposed, were gone. Then, one day, from other more "advanced" areas of the Western Hemisphere things like little itty bitty bags of drinking water, single serving bottles of "juna", disposable diapers etc showed up. But, when people tried what was tested and true for getting rid of the unusable remains it did NOT decompose. In fact, let me offer the bus "station" (term used oh so loosely) in Cap Haitian as an example. Anywhere you walk, you find your steps strangely buoyed- look down and know why. Every square inch of ground is covered with YEARS of empty drink/food/product containers, smashed totally flat, and blackened by the millions of feet and tires that have passed over it. The waterfront, once one of the most beautiful ports in the world, is clogged with much the same. I could go on, and on, like about how I got into the stream in Labadee village and pulled out cans and styro-foam and plastic bottles that had "dammed" the flow and was told by locals not too worry that it would wash out to sea, eventually. They cannot conceive that there it will NOT decay, EVER, and one of the reasons fishing (the main source of sustenance in many coastal villages) is now so poor. I could also mention that Cite Soleil the poorest slum in Haiti (and when 75- 80% of the GENERAL population lives in abject poverty, that's saying something) is partially built on a dump- a dump made, in part, by the barged in garbage that Canada and the US once paid Haiti to take!!!!!
I recall very clearly driving through Soleil one night, in the late 90's, and seeing little bursts of fire here and there: methane fires from the compressed garbage. Many of the shanties of Soleil (many made from dump refuse, themselves- imagine FedEx paper walls.. it's true) have burned down and been "rebuilt" over the years. The people that died in these fires were not so easily resurrected. The canals that criss-cross Port-au-Prince and channel through Soleil are basically sewage ditches, heavily clogged with all that I have previously mentioned, plus human waste (they do their business in little bags and toss it there since real toilets are as rare, here, as owning our own jet planes is to us). Water doesn't "flow" except when the rains come and then they swell big with disease and flood the "homes" with a muck so rank, that even when the wetness recedes, the stench doesn't . Do you know that it is possible to sleep standing up? It is- Haitians in Soleil are good at it. Birth defects are higher in this one part of Haiti, per capita, than in most of the world put together.
So, I gasped at Extreme Makeover b/c though the hearts were in the right place, they did not do their research... they have just added to the problem. (side note: when we travel to Haiti with donations, we bring in NO unnecessary packaging AND any we do create, we repack to bring home. You should see the look on customs' officers' faces when they choose me to have my suitcases inspected! lol) Furthermore, a lot of what I saw in the truck took batteries... So let's see- buy new batteries or eat one meal a day for 3 days....? Sigh.
So, what did EM get RIGHT?
They housed the boys in groups of 3 to a bedroom. Yes, a big YES. Haiti is very social, very close knit, not only of necessity, but of choice. I can spot Haitian kids and families ANYWHERE just by the "personal" distance they either maintain or deny. :) Keeping the kids physically together- bravo.
NOT taking the family to Haiti to drop off the stuff. I had truly feared that, that's what they were about to do. And, if they had prepared them, in advance, then okay, but as a surprise? This would have been traumatic for the Haitian boys, to say the least. I don't mean going to their homeland. I mean, whisking in, playing Santa to children just like they were and then having to leave as quickly, coming home to the EM waaaaay crazily appointed "home" (gees, did you SEE that freaking games room????). After 12 years of working in Haiti, living amongst the people, celebrating and grieving with them... well, I know those boys would have been changed if they'd been made to go, unprepared. And, not for the better.
Showing an adoptive family in such a positive light. Like they stated at the end, maybe more people will consider this amazing way to build/add to their families.
And, what did they get WRONG (besides all I have already pointed out)?
Most Haitian kids (these were teens and most still had their accents intact, so were recent adoptees) have NEVER been in a pool, even in the ocean (unless they live on the coast) and the majority of Haitians are scared stiff of water. (no body fat = sink like a stone, even in salt water) BUT, introduce them to a pool, let them get comfortable and they will LIVE in it. Now, there's a way to keep a family together. :)
****
PS: I emailed all I have just said to ABC.
PPS: (on a lighter note) Anyone see Desperate Housewives immediately afterward? Wow! :)
3 comments:
This was a great post. I too watched EM on Sunday and I was shocked at the lack of judgement exercised especially with the truck of toys being sent to a country of starving people. They can't eat the toys. I didn't even catch your point about the batteries. Very observant.
Anyhow, thanks for the post and bringing this to the attention of ABC. WTG. Barb
I hate that show. It just feels like they are TRYING so hard to make me cry. It just leaves a bad taste in my mouth
I saw it TOO, L. You have such a knowledge of Haiti, it would've been hard to watch and NOT be agast. Good job emailing to ABC.
And I am with you---it should be "excessive Makeover" What does it teach really young children who receive these home and things?? It'd be just as "heartwarming" if it was on a smaller scale. AND does Ty HAVE to YELL??
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