What's the buzz? Tell me what's a happenin'!

Okay, I will :)

Ready?

Oh, how different adopting a second child feels from my first sojourn into Mamahood.

Truth is that except to pray for her each night(God bless ____________ wherever she may still be, and please let her be the perfect fit for our family), I don't think much about number 2. Maybe it's b/c number one keeps me so crazy busy/occupied/satisfied/happy, maybe it's b/c if I think about her too much, the scaries try to climb into my brain: Can I do this? What if she is too different from Malía? What if I can't raise two children, financially and on an on...

But, I know that, despite any misgivings (and believe me, I had plenty before my first adoption, too) Little Sista will be the right child, for me, and very much so for Malía. And, it is really for Malía that I switched from the generic Little Sib to the specific, Little Sista. I did that my first week in Portugal, as I watched Malía playing with other children on the beach. She loved both boys and girls equally, but the girls held hands, touched each others' hair, sat beside each other in peaceful companionship. With the boys, she often ended up shoved, knocked over, forgotten after a while. One, about 4 months her senior, slapped her in the face when she took his shovel out of the sand castle. (little bugger is lucky he is still breathing!!)

Now, I am not naive- I know a sister will not be bliss all the time, maybe very little of the time, but they'll still be sisters, two girls, the same in more ways than a brother and sister can be. With another girl there is the opportunity to share a room, your full heart, your clothes, your anger/love/wonder about someone you're smitten with, talk about your menstrual cycle, the size of your boobs. And, then later, about sex, marriage, childbirth.

I don't have a sister, I have a brother, 8 years younger, and though we shared a lot, growing up, we definitely did not share those last 5 or 6 things I mentioned. And, then he married a woman who has succeeded (and yes, I know he has responsibilty in this, too) in pretty much distancing him from the whole family, not only in miles (they live in NJ) but in emotion/politics etc. We just found out that after 13 years of trying, they're 5 months pregnant. I am so excited, and so sad, too b/c my only niece/nephew may be a once a year photo, through no fault of my own (or at least that is what he himself has told people). Maybe I'm wrong, but I can't see two sisters being so close one day, and so apart for years when NOTHING happened, you know?? And, yes, I, the girl, keep trying to bridge the gap...

Then there's boys and puberty- I teach teen boys. Um, no. ;) (I had to lighten the mood for myself, I got entirely too sappy writing that last paragraph!)

Besides, my parents, friends etc were all campaigning for another girl. Well, all except for BF- I think he was hoping for a boy to idolize him. :)

So, now that you know the reasons for a Little SISTA, here's where we stand:

I completed my homestudy in May (the 26th, I think... honestly, I suck at these dates), my dossier went off to my agency the week I left for Portugal at the end of June. My provincial approval to adopt came in July, and my dossier went off to Ethiopia on August 7th. That date I clearly recall b/c it was my Dad's b-day.
My caseworker, and the director of the agency both said, at the time, 4 to 6 months, for a referral, but I know families have been waiting longer these days, so I am counting on about 7 or 8 months.

I am going the Citizenship route this time (Mal was PRV and her name is STILL Kalkidan on all her official papers b/c I had to wait a year in Ontario to change it and just haven't found the time!) and the agency gal assigned to that has gently nudged me that, Hello- you should have had this stuff in a month ago- but there it is, still in my school binder, still not filled out, docs still needing notorization. And, to be honest, I am not stalling (at least I don't think so) I am just crazy busy (this week should see the resolution/realization of the one HUGE project/presentation and then I can take a breath), then add to that Mal's sleep stuff and the fact that I HATE having to take pieces of paper to the lawyer and pay them for their lovely little stamp of "proof" and well you have classic me- procrastinator!!!

But, even with paperwork not all done, a referral at least 4 months away, I have been thinking about her more than I just admitted- I mean, I have saved all of Mal's prettiest clothes, I bought her something adorable in Portugal, I have named her for Malía and me, I keep doing and redoing these 2 back rooms in my head with her in mind, and as I said, I pray for/about her.

It all comes down to this- my journey to Malía was paved with sorrow stones, but she is my daughter not only officially and in my heart of hearts, but she is more "mine" than I ever could've dreamed. She IS the baby God intended for me. My heart/mind are cautious, but I just have to believe, he has the plan firmly in place and when the time is right, Little Sista, Malía and I , will all be ready.