Genna, falls on January 7th and is the Ethiopian Christmas (learn about it here and here). I will dress Mal in the traditional white and will have her take a treat to daycare (tomorrow is her one day a week there), however, except to make her a Ethio-Portuguese variation of Doro Wat for supper, and light Enat's candle, we really have no other way to celebrate "traditionally" the biggest holiday/feast day next to Timket on January 19th.
I wish I had thought to rally the 2 other Ethio-families in the area (and the third still waiting) and reserved dinner at Taste of Ethiopia in Michigan, but I didn't. Our own family would never a) cross the border at night and b) eat somewhere so unfamiliar (read: gross). lol
I have a friend or two I could likely rope in, but it is pretty far on a weeknight, so an opportunity missed to involve Malia more fully in the amazing culture she comes from.
And, I really need/want/have to start doing that more, even if it means greater travel. I read on other blogs (U.S.) about their annual (some times bi-annual, even quarterly) gatherings to connect their families with each other and with the Ethiopian Community and I know there has to be more I can do than just lament about it and go to the picnics/lunches (no Ethio content unless you count the kidlettes :) that happen twice a year, and at least keep the families as "close" as 3 hours travel can. I need to get off my butt and explore what it truly available to Mal and me on a more regular basis.
I know a few local moms of China princesses that want nothing to do with a a culture they feel abandoned their daughters, and all I can think is how sad it is, and how one day they will regret it (as will their girls) b/c the country they come from (just like the country where I was born) is part of who they are, intrinsically.
I talk to Malia about Ethiopia, her Enat, we have books about the culture, the country, the folk tales. When we watch the montage I made from our time there, I explain more and more of what I know/have learned. (This morning I was telling her about Genna, too, and when I mentioned Christmas, she asked about Santa) Her b-day pics are always taken with one western outfit and her Ethiopian attire, and funny, she always seems to radiate in the latter like she was truly born to head scarves and flowing costumes.
Today, after school, I was walking by our chapel, and felt drawn inside. It was so nice and peaceful with the halls cleared and the afternoon announcements music finally shut off. I didn't have a plan going in there, but found myself talking out loud (we have "listening Jesus" - eyes open on the cross, looking at you) and thanking him for Mal, listing her gifts and acknowledging how she is the greatest one I could ever dream of receiving and how I so hope I am worthy of her. I marvelled that she could have been born in a place I had never been, that had never called to my heart and now holds my heart b/c she does. I cried thinking about that. How God does so work in mysterious, and wonderous ways, and I left there serene, happy.
I am proud to raise her Luso-Canadian (Portuguese-Canadian) but I never want us to lose the tie and pride in Africa, in Ethiopia, the land where she first saw light, first cried tears, first gurgled and laughed, first felt her mother's arms and first felt her Mama's.
Next year, we will do it right, my little Kalkidan. I promise.
8 comments:
Hi Luci,
I too am feeling that I need to do more to immerse Adea into her birth culture. I had planned to do more for Genna as well, but as time quickly passed plans were not made. Apparantly an Ethiopian lady who has a restaurant in London is interested in getting the kiddos adopted from Ethiopia involved with the Ethiopian community in the area. I don't know how far London is for you (about an hour for me) but Adea and I would love to get together with you and Mal for dinner there and talk to her about ways of getting our kids more immersed. A friend of mine from Woodstock who is also single and adopting from Ethiopia would be interested in joining us as she is the one who told me about this lady.
Great minds think even more alike..I too am at the point where I need to lose weight and am in the process of deciding the best 'plan of attack' for myself. We can form a support group! The biggest loser is definitely a motivator.
Jeanie
Hi luci
Bjorn and I struggle with this all the time. We are working very hard to honour the Ethio culture Tareiku was born into. we have met a wonderful local Ethio family and they invite us to family celebrations and holidays. You are more than welcome to join us. We would love to get together more often so the kids can know each other better!
Lisa, Bjorn and boys
Jeanie, I emailed you.
Lisa, I can't find your email. Can you get in touch with me?
thanks :)
L.
I wish we lived closer L because we are always trying to find ways to keep Zia immersed in Ethiopian culture and we'd love to become more involved in whatever we can. I organize, and we do participate in the group for children adopted from Ethiopia locally, we eat the food (both home cooked and at a restaurant) as often as possible and we listen to the music all the time, but sometimes I feel like its not enough or worry that it won't be 'real' enough for Zia.
I hope that you are able to get some activities and connections going L! Let me know if you ever organize anything out this way or even in Toronto. Who knows, perhaps we'll be able to make it next time! :)
Melkam Genna friend.
As Mal grows older it will mean more and more to her. She may not always appreciate it (some adopted kids go through a phase of rejecting their birth culture - not all but some), but even if that happens, in the long run she will be glad you made the effort.
Melkam Genna
I was just thinking along those lines today myself, as we were at the Ethiopian grocery store buying injera. I was chatting with the owner (we are regular customers) and mentioned my desire to have my son re-learn his Amharic. She seemed to be debating for a moment and then suggested that we come to her home regularly, and her husband and kids could teach him Amharic and we could talk about Ethiopian cooking, etc. I jumped on it before she even finished talking, as you might imagine.
In terms of cultural familiarity and language, I think the "small" connections like this will work out better than the big groups. Group events, for us, are more about connecting with other adoptive & transracial families than with Ethiopian culture.
First, I want to say thank you for reading my blog and caring about our family. Also, I love the Rosa/Martin/Barack subtitle thing on your blog.. gives me chills.
Culture is a tough thing (IMHO). I think (white, majority) Americans look at our kids and see only "black kids". Whether they are Haitian or Ethiopian or Kenyan or South African is as important as whether a white person is French or Polish or Swedish or Irish. I think at the beginning, I hoped/wanted to maintain more of our kids' culture, some of their language. But at this point, WE speak more of their language than they do, WE enjoy more of their foods than they do.. they are really American kids.
With one important difference. (and I think this is HUGE to recognize). There is something different about being a transracial adoptee. There is something different about being a white parent of a black child. There is something different about being the white parent of a Haitian adoptee, or of an Ethiopian adoptee. We have our own war wounds, our own survival stories from the crazy process.
Several years ago, I started a yahoogroup for people in our state that had adopted from Haiti. And then we started getting together once a year. At first I was weirded out by that, but the first time we went, my kids dashed out and played with these other kids like they had known them their whole lives. I felt a connectedness with the parents that I don't feel with other groups. It is almost magical. Now we all gather twice a year, and our kids talk about it ALL YEAR LONG. If you ever have the opportunity to do something like this, even just a pot-luck picnic at a park... it really is invaluable.
sorry to take over your whole comment page.
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